Rx

I Love her like a twin,
her wild eyes,
her postcard casual ways.

She is unbridled strength,
she is deafening silence,
she's insanely intelligent.

I admire her the way
a child admires a carnival freak,
the freedom mixed with pathetic shame,
she is everything I'm not.

Blindfolded and spun,
I don't know if I'm running
to her or away.

I want her.
I want her gone.

I bury her and she digs up the grave.
She smiles at me
through dirt and worms
and tells me
the only way to Heaven
is to follow her to hell.